Saturday, April 23, 2016

When to say "Goodbye"


Recently there has been quite an interesting development in my Lolita community.

Two of my Lolita acquaintances that I greatly admire have come to a crossroads with the fashion. One of these lovely ladies has completely left the fashion while the other is actively in search of some innovative coordinate inspiration.

These recent changes have got me thinking.

When is it a good time to say goodbye to the Lolita Fashion hobby?
Ask yourself these important questions:


"What is it that I love about Lolita?"

What is is about Lolita that you adore? What is is about fills and lace that sends you into a tizzy? Is it the dress releases, the uniqueness of the aesthetic or the cute accessories? It is important to highlight why you put so much time and energy into this hobby that you love so much.


"Does Lolita still make me happy?"

Take the list of items that you made previous to this question and review how these reasons you stated really make you feel. If you still feel positive about the reasons you gave you do not have anything to worry about. On the other hand if the idea of a new dress release feels like a terrible omen for you and your wallet it might be time to move to the next step.


While you look over the Lolita items in your closet think, "How do these clothes make me feel?"

When you wear Lolita how do you feel? Empowered, beautiful, adorable, royal or unique? Do the prints and pieces help express the person you are outwardly? If you feel positive about the style at this point then perhaps there are other concerns that you can address. If you feel that you no longer have a connection with the clothes or the connection is waning let's cover a few true but difficult points.

Change is hard, but change is good.

Life is all about change and often change is unexpected. When I started wearing Lolita I was head-over-heels in love with Over-The-Top Sweet Lolita. The more pastel fairy-kei accessories and prints the better! ​Years later my Lolita style and tastes have changed drastically. Now I tend to feel more attracted to Classical Sweet and Sweet Lolita styles. A progression and change in a style is only natural. It is a process. 

If you have gotten to this step it appears to be time for a serious change. Maybe it is as simple as a wardrobe make over in another Lolita style. Just like my change from Over-The-Top Sweet to Classical Sweet reflects the person I was to the person I am now, maybe another sub-style of Lolita will be a better fit for you. Browse the styles that you have had a budding curiosity in for years and see if it is something you would be interested in pursing.

Then again maybe the Lolita atheistic no longer suites you and you want to peruse another type of fashion. This is 100% okay. It is possible to step away from the fashion - people leave all of the time.

What is most important to make sure that you are staying true to yourself and doing what makes you happy, even if that means you need to step away from the hobby.


Lolita is what you do, not who you are.

Lolita is a hobby just like any other. Just because you are passionate about it does not define who you are as a person. If you decide to no longer wear Lolita fashion you are still the same person regardless of what your new wardrobe choices are.


The most important lesson to take away from Lolita is to be yourself. While I am sad to see my friends turn away from the fashion I find satisfaction in the knowledge that they are on the path of happiness.

Stay Frilly ~


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